Need some critical advice

Wanna laugh ... then read this ... it's comes from a mate who stole it from the internet somewhere.

This is a "Dear Abby" letter from an FJ1100 restorer and reads as follows ..

I have never written about this before but I feel I need to so that I can get some advice on what could be a critical decision. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs ... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.

Anyway I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her.

I decided I was going to position the FJ1100 that I'm restoring next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind the bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on the engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Now if, after having read this your computer "locks" then just hit any key to free it up. It looks something like this ...

Just call us the "polish" boys

In a moment of madness Ian attacked the carbs and polished one of the "caps" to within an inch of it's life ... but just look at the result. Now the question is .. should we buy a bench grinder to do all this stuff or what?

I think I already know the answer ...

ps ... what is that squeaking sound I can hear?

Fake carbon fibre ???

Yes ... there is such a beast. Apparently the motorcyclist can part with some hard earned dollars and buy "stick-on" carbon fibre. Maybe we should use some of this on the bike?

http://tapeworks.com/CARBONLOOK/carbonlook.html

And if we really want to go all the way ... maybe we should have a "tape job" done on the bike that looks something like this ... that glows in the dark.

http://tapeworks.com/GENERIC%20Images/5576.139.jpg

No ??

Wiring all gone

Yesterday I decided to go down to the garage and put in an hour on the bike. Since it has been at "Twamley" I've been progressively stripping stuff off the frame. All the wiring has gone and the handlebars have been removed along with the back (blue) frame and exhaust.

"Before" (on left) it was just spagetti and we discovered that the bike had been rewired because all the wire colours were wrong! Great ! (Now we need to get our hands on a wiring diagram and Peter will need to rewire the whole bike ... maybe).

Even though the wiring was the wrong colours I tagged everything with coloured bits of electrical tape so that ... if we did keep the original wires ... we would at least know what to connect to "what" when we put everything back together again.

The rear frame came off easy enough as did the handlebars and other bits and pieces. Everything is in cardboard boxes now ... all labelled and tagged. What's left of the bike "after" stripping the wiring off. (see right).

Engine has been extracted

Last weekend (19th June) We all gathered at Paul's place to begin dismantling the FJ. It was decided to take the engine and gearbox out and take the rest of the bike to Ian's place. Peter and Paul could work on the engine whilst Ian could continue to dismantle the rest of the bike.


It took most took most of the Saturday to get the engine out and then get the rest of the bike and bike ramp back on the ute and over to Ian's place.

By the end of the weekend it was all done and all we have spent so far is about $42 on a set of large allen keys because we needed a 10mm key to remove one of the engine mount bolts.

We can now safely say that the bike has bits and pieces spread all over Brisbane; Fenders, fairings and engine and gearbox at Pauls, and most of the rest of the bike at Ians.

Still have not decided on what colour and graphics will be on the racer but Ian is pushing for "something" that looks mostly black and chrome but with a checkered black and orange strip down the centre like the graphic pictured.

FJ1100 Stock exhaust vs Vance and Hines SS2-R

A "chopped" FJ1100

What colour, what graphics ??

I'm thinking that a cafe racer created in Australia needs to be just that ... Australian. When people see it they should immediately say "Ooh, that's an aussie cafe racer". Therefore the Australian flag (or at the very least the Southern Cross) needs to be featured in the graphics.

Don't know what Peter or Paul think of this idea ...

It's all about allocating jobs

One bike, three "bike rebuilders" and several thousand opinions on where to start, what to do and how much to spend.

Our first big decision was that we would turn the bike into a cafe racer. Something like the one in the photo.

Our next decision was the budget. We decided that we would each "bank" $100/month into a joint account. Therefore, with $300/month coming into the account the "budget" (by default) is $3,600 as we figure that the project should be finished in about 12 months i.e. by around June 2011.

We also decided that we needed to allocate each person sections of the bike to research and come up with ideas on what to do and possible costs to do it.

Peter got:

1. The rear suspension

2. The brakes and

3. The front suspension

(as well as "combining" with Paul on researching the engine)

Paul got:

1. The engine (with Pete)

2. The clutch and

3. The electrical system

Ian got:

1. The transmission and shift mechanism

2. Fuel, power valve and exhaust systems and

3. The body and frame

We all need to go away and research our particular areas and then we will all meet again and each one of us has to "present" what he thinks we (collectively) need to do in relation to each specific section.

We need to find a home for the FJ

It was March 2010 when Peter and Paul decided to work on restoring a project bike together. The project bike is an FJ1100 which was purchased from a guy at Lota for $400. The bike "ran" after liberal amounts of "start ya bastard".

Currently the FJ resides under Paul's house along with a motorcycle work platform and several other bits and pieces.

The most immediate issue is "where" to house the bike whilst it is being worked on. What is required is a shed that is ...
1. Away from living quarters because of the smell of degreaser that will be prominent as the rebuild progresses,
2. Able to be accessed at anytime by any of the "restorers" (i.e. Ian, Paul or Peter)
3. Big enough and secure enough to house the project bike, bike platform, spare parts and various tools and
4. Is cheap to rent (i.e. is free!!)

Paul is following up on a possible place and we do have a "plan B" is all else fails.