Need some critical advice

Wanna laugh ... then read this ... it's comes from a mate who stole it from the internet somewhere.

This is a "Dear Abby" letter from an FJ1100 restorer and reads as follows ..

I have never written about this before but I feel I need to so that I can get some advice on what could be a critical decision. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs ... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.

Anyway I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her.

I decided I was going to position the FJ1100 that I'm restoring next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind the bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on the engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Now if, after having read this your computer "locks" then just hit any key to free it up. It looks something like this ...